If Dr. Seuss Wrote The Book of Mormon

We get handouts at institue sometimes an I thought this one was funny, so here you go:
Nephi:
Of goodly parents I was born
I’ve never drunk, I’ve never sworn
This is Lehi, he’s my dad —
Laman, Lemuel, they are bad.
And who is this? Why this is Sam.

Sam:
Yes, this is Sam; Sam I am!

Laman:
That Sam I am, that Sam I am
I do not like that Sam I am

Sam:
In a tent, my father dwelt

Laman:
And it’s so hot, I think I’ll melt

Lemuel:
Our father’s brain is out of whack

Laman:
Yeah. It’s too hot, I’m going back.

Lehi:
Then go and get the plates, my dear

Laman:
On second thought, I’m staying here.

Nephi:
You said you’d leave and go away
Now all you want to do is stay?

Lemuel:
That Nephi always gets his way.

Laman:
Here we are in this damp cave.

Sam:
We would not be here if you’d behave.

Nephi:
I will go and I will do.
There’s the angel, that’s my cue.
Laban’s had too much to drink
Now he’ll lose his head, I think.

Nephi:
Look what I found —
A brother from the quorum

Sam:
We will take him home.
We will call him Zoram

Laman:
Our gold and silver we have spent
I do not like it in this tent.

Lemuel:
I cannot read the Liahona
I must have drunk too much Corona

Laman:
We hate it here.
We have no lives!

Lehi
Then go back to the city
And get some wives.

Lehi:
A tree, a tree, I see a tree!!
The fruit is white, the fruit is free!
A floating building, could it be?
Why do they laugh and stare at me?
Laman, Lemuel, come and see!

Laman:
We will not eat your precious fruit.

Lemuel:
We will not wear a tie and suit.

Laman:
We will not help you build your boat.

Lemuel:
We do not think that it will float

Laman:
No not this boat, it will not float
Not even in a shallow moat
I do not care what Nephi wrote

Lemuel:
We will not eat your fruit I say.

Laman:
We will not eat it on a tray.

Lemuel:
And we won’t eat it in a tent,
Not even if your clothes you rent.

Laman:
We’d rather have a can of spam.

Laman & Lemuel:
We will not eat it, Sam I am.

Sam:
You do not like it, so you say
Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may I say.

Laman:
Sam, if you will let us be,
We will try it, you will see.

Laman & Lemuel:
Say, we like this fruit of life
Sorry that we caused such strife
You’ve saved us from an awful jam
Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!